self liberated

my mouth had been sewn tight before I was able write my name

until they decided to make me over into the vision of what they thought I was supposed to be rather than who I wanted to be. 

all of them stuck their needles of validation and care in me

when I was the unparalleled vision of  who could create light  to make them radiate for a moment 

forcing me to crave the satisfaction of affection I never knew how to fabricate for myself

something I knew I had to meld together for myself

but from fear sought out in those that would only destroy me to pump it through my veins 

Feeling like my daddy during that one year

The year that so many girls who looked like me’s daddy’s had too many of 

and I wanted to scream but I didn’t

like I couldn’t when I let the ilu ily boy did it

not do it take it 

All of our stuff

All of the stuff I’ve ever created to make them glow

all of my stuff

Not your stuff!

ached from missing my stuff

then I screamed 

Taking back my stuff

it was never theirs to manipulate

In soul or body

It never was 

and thats what I should have screamed before they sewn my mouth shut and injected their disguised poison into me

And I kept screaming 

And took a seam ripper to my mouth

And went to therapy

And I was exactly who created the light to radiate myself

And let me and my daddy out of that place I’d held us both in for too long

and All of my stuff in my hands

and I screamed

Monster Run